Toxic Relationship

So i'm pausing from my cleaning of my apartment for an important announcement : I'm terrified of chemicals.  The technical term is Chemophobia although that definition includes the part about not fully understanding science, which is NOT true in my case. Like most of my issues, it's irrational and i know it.

So here is a tiny bit of background, i've been scared of chemicals since i was a little kid. As long as i can remember. The biggest problem with this is, chemicals are in most every household cleaner there is. They are all toxic. It even says it on the bottles. Now obviously unless you are chugging windex or bathing in laundry detergent, you probably won't ever have an issue with these things. However, logic doesn't help.

Now as far as cleaning my place, i tend to use Method or Seventh Generation, because they are "non toxic". However a few weeks ago, my Method detergent spilled on my hand, and after reading the back of the bottle, it told me to wash my hands but try not to get it on me. So i washed my hands. At least twenty times in searing hot water. Convinced it was still on me and that it was seeping into my skin ( parasitic detergent i suppose ), was going to get into my bloodstream, and kill me. Or the ruminants would get in my mouth somehow from being on my hand and it would kill me. For hours i didn't touch any food and planned my dinner around that fact.

It's caused a lot of issues because i will NOT touch even a bottle of a cleaner and don't really like to touch surfaces i know have just be cleaned with a cleanser. Most people who know i have a fear don't really understand it, which i get, because most people use cleaners and chemicals every day. It's caused problems in jobs too.

I worked at a dog hotel and would only touch the cleaners if i wore gloves. My boss told me to clean the bathroom with bleach one day and i actually had a full blown panic attack. Bleach burns. It's a serious chemical. I still won't go near someone if they have any.

I could go on and on about this one but i think i'll get back to cleaning with my all natural stuff and save more posts for another day.